2015- a year of minimum dramas, great improvement for my blog and great birthday parties. I'd like to say that this year has been a pretty mild year compared to 2014. 2014 was quite depressing, full of dramas and negativity. This year I tried to improve myself, I tried to step out of my comfort zone and learn to not deal with dramas and care less for people who hurt me.
Let's see what I have achieve in 2015:
- Many more blog opportunities
- Slowing recovering from my mental meltdowns from the dramas in 2014.
- My very own 21st birthday party, everything fully paid by yours truly here. (#proudmama)
- Attended and organized 21st birthday party for friends.
- Learn basic archery
- Learn Pole Dancing
- Revamped my blog
- Traveled to Japan
- Suffered in F&B industry once again
- Learn to appreciate my friends even more
- Invited to visit Trick Eye Museum again.
- Learned to play Dota
- Bought a shitty laptop and requested for an exchange for free (yay me!)
I think 2015 is a year of chill. Yes- I admit there were a couple of dramas here and there, and it did affected me quite badly. But I survived another year again, and that's something I'm really grateful about.
1. What new things did you discover about yourself?
I never knew I could even pole, so I was very surprised when I graduated from beginner pole classes. I learned that most of the times I mental block myself before even attempting to try out anything.
I also discovered that I am very much like water. I mold into anything according to my surroundings. If my surrounding is filled with negativity, I'll be super depressed, negative and simply become a pile of shit, together with the shitty people around me. But if I'm surrounded with positivity and great people that bring out the good in me, I'll work super hard, be very positive towards life and feel joy.
That is also why I just cut off ties with people, or just slowly stop talking to them if I ever feel like they are toxic people in my life. I am like a piece of sponge, I soak up my surrounding and if what I soaked up are negative, I'd feel so tired and depressed and I don't want that.
I also learned that I picked up people's bad habit if I get too attached to someone. If that person I get attached is lazy, I get super lazy too. If the person is super hardworking, I'll get that vibe and be more hardworking too. I don't know why, but this is just me. And I guess that's why I try to choose who to come into my inner circle and who not to. If I just let anyone enter and go, I think I'll be back to the 2012 me, which sucks.
2. What single achievement are you most proud of?
I guess it would be learning pole. I never ever exercise in my life, and now pole is my form of exercise.
3. Which new skills did you learn?
Dota skills, Pole skills and skills to care less when someone tries to hurt me. Oh, and skills to not give a damn when customers complain like a little bitch about you in F&B industry.
4. What, or who, are you most thankful for?
I am most thankful for the people around me that influence me to become a better person, and my second sister for accompany me to learn pole together and give me great advice throughout the year. I don't think I would ever join pole if no one was to accompany me.
5. If someone wrote a book about your life in 2015, what kind of genre would it be? Would it be a comedy, love story, drama, film noir or something else?
Admit it- It would be a very boring book.
6. What was the most important lesson you learnt in 2015?
The most important lesson- if someone truly cares and loves you, they will be vocal about it. They would tell you, communicate with you, show their emotions and share with you their insecurities. Even if they do tell you they care about you, but their actions prove otherwise- that means they don't love you at all. (Or not enough) And if you do hurt them, instead of communicating and clearing it out, they tried to revenged play you out to hurt you right back, that means they don't regard you as anything at all.
7. Which 5 people did you most enjoy spending time with?
I admit, I rather just have the room to myself. Maybe with my laptop or Spotify.
8. How did your relationship to your family evolve?
Ever since I stopped working for a couple of months, I took the responsibility to bring my mom to the hospital to do check ups, I learned to talk to her more. I also talked to my second sister more often now that we pole together almost every week. I think it's a great thing. From 2014 kicked out of the house to 2015 spending time together, I think the relationship has improved a lot.
9. What little things did you most enjoy during your day-to-day life?
The personal space I ever get, I cherish it a lot. I need personal space to recover all my energy spent with human beings.
10. What was your most common mental state this year? (I.e. excited, curious, stressed)?
Confusion. I was confused with my relationships with people, confused about my college life, confused about what my mom wants from me and confused about mostly everything.
11. Was there anything you did for the very first time in your life this year?
Dota, pole, archery and staycation!
12. What experience would you love to do all over again?
Travel to Japan again! But as much as I want to return to Japan, there are more places I wanna step foot down as well.
13. What do you deserve a pat on the back for?
For everything, I guess. For trying to step out of comfort zone, for trying to recover from my very bad mental state of health, for trying to fight my way out of being so depressed every single day and for still being alive.
14. What activities made you lose track of time?
Dota. Definitely Dota.
15. What did you think about more than anything else?
About deaths, and worrying about the future.
16. What advice would you give your early-2014 self if you could?
No advice, I don't think my 2015 self needed advice. Even if I did, she probably won't listen. Stubborn little fella.
17. Did any parts of your self or your life do a complete 180 this year?
Yes. I put down reading and picked up pole dancing and Dota. Strange, isn't it? Oh and jumped into F&B field- what the fuck was I thinking?!
Anyway, I really enjoyed staying home but I was invited to a countdown party. Sometimes I wonder why the introverted me picked up blogging. Staying home to write, I love it. But attending events makes me nervous at times. I always worried to say the wrong things, people judge me and people not liking me, etc. But still, I love writing my thoughts down. I hope 2016 would fill with more learning and minimum dramas.
, by Angelus Chan